Monday, September 07, 2009
♥ Whatever.
"I do not wish to say this but seriously, your attitude is getting from bad to worse. If you haven't realised. Other than my brother, you, Dewi Tan is the 1st human ever that reached my limit. You said that you're trying to make the people around you happy but i don't see you change for the better. Think about it, the way you talk to people. And the tone you used on me, it only have the effect of annoying others. I was so agitated that i nearly cried out do you know that. I am utterly disappointed with you, you're no longer the Dewi i know."
My respond.
"Fuck you. And Fuck off. You don't even know me"
Remember what you said. And remember what i said. Just remember it.
Oh and you, TZA, can FORGET about me or whatever you wanna do.
And if i annoy you so much, i request of one more thing.
Do NOT talk about me. To my friends and family ESPECIALLY. Whether it be good or bad.
And if i annoy you or whatever and bring you no happiness, then just avoid me, stay away from me or just do whatever fuck you want to make yourself happy.
I'm an asshole, a bitch a whatever and whatever.
I've apologized. There's nothing more i can do.
If you don't want me to care about you, i can.
I can insult you right here and now.
And after i do, i'll speak of you no longer. Is that what you really want?
Did i really do something wrong?
Are you really so mature? So right? So awesome and so respected that you expect respect from me?
Do you expect me to tell you EVERY FUCKING THING IN MY FUCKING LIFE with a simple question?
Even when i ask of your life and you give me a nothing?
I told you. You AND JJ. IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO TALK TO SOMEONE.
You guys make me feel untrusted and completely unreliable.
COMPLETELY. I feel, not trusted. USELESS.
Nobody even wants to let me share their burden.
Am i seriously that crappy?
Does nobody trust me?
Why is it that trust is often a source of a problem in my life?
Especially with you.
You said you trusted me.
You said so.
And where has the 98% of trust gone!?
Maybe it was just words to make me happy.
The words i used on you. Have you ever thought that you've used it on me before? Have you? Have you ever thought that i felt the same way as you did BECAUSE OF YOU before? Have you? Since you're so sensitive and smart and mature, WHY NOT USE THOSE WORDS AGAINST YOURSELF AND THINK?
Did i confront you?
Sometimes i got pissed.
Most of the time, i just let it go.
BUT YOU NEVER REALISED.
Ok?
I doubt you even remember.
But nevermind.
So just FUCK OFF and stop ruining my day. Ok?
I beg of you.
JUST STOP CONFRONTING ME AND ACTING ALL BIG AND MAKING ME BLAME MYSELF.
I just want to selfishly live my life happily ok?
I know that's alot to ask.
But really, i'm just trying to make people happy.
But i can't do that anymore.
I don't want to give up yet.
I still want to make them smile.
But before that, i need to look for myself.
The self that you people don't know.
Because if you people knew, you would sing it back to me.
"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words
Remember that, ZA?
So do you really think you knew me back then?
Do you?
Labels: Dewi
9:58 PM
